You know that reality check when the 'It Will Never Be the Same' Bus runs you over?
Going back to when I found out I was pregnant with my second one, our Trevor, I knew there would need to be some major schedule changes to make. There has never been an easy way to do that when your schedule is planned around 50+ people 4-8 weeks out.
The pregnancy went well... and fast. Seemed CRAZY fast. When you have your distraction at home already with taking care of your other one(s) there is such little downtime to watch the pregnancy apps that tell you your baby is now the size of a pumpkin seed, an apple, cantaloupe each week as it grows. You know, much like having the time to watch water boil. HA! What I did have to take time for were some shots every week to prevent another preterm delivery. You see, my first one Jackson came over a month early. Come to find out it was likely due to previous preterm contractions as well as simply standing on my feet for too long during the day. One thing my husband and I both knew is we were trusting the system with this and I just had to grin and bear it getting the shot in the top of my butt every week. Effin' ouch!!! Paid off and I made it to where the doctors wanted me to with Trevor. We brought him home and life as I knew it to be professionally would be completely different. I had already experienced the 'not a mother' to 'mother forever' change. Here now, was the change from the life before my family is complete to the life after the family is complete. So far as we see it anyway.
This should bring you up to speed as for now on my 'why'. My why is because i want to be the kind of mom who goes crazy less, the kind of mom who gets some of her professional calling in on the calendar, and the kind of mom who can show two boys how important it is to be living my definition of the life I want to have.
All this looks easy on paper. Sure, a few changes to rescheduling those evenings and Saturdays I no longer should take away from my precious time with the boys and hubs. Giving yourself a raise at work as a self-employed hairstylist without driving away all of the business that has already been through two price increases with you. Functioning on the least amount of sleep I have ever had and having to be as competent as I was before.
NONE OF THAT happens as easy as it looks on paper. I was quickly drowning in a sea of crashing waves of exponential growth of personal responsibilities and choosing my career to bring right along with the new family of four badge I was wearing. Sometimes, both were upside down.
That bus I mentioned.... remember how I ended up under it because not only did it make a speed bump out of me, but it backed up and did it again at least 3 times. By the Grace of God, I found mentors while I was down there I had never even heard of before. Mentors who had found the new app Periscope and were seemingly talking straight to me. Women and men who worked precisely as guides to help pull anyone in any situations they found themselves in and figured they were stuck for all of time. One thing I can do better than anything else is take advice. This was God sent advice right as I needed it and helped me gather my constant whirlwind of thoughts, that did or didn't make sense all the time, and helped me become aware of the Life or Death situation of what I now know to be life design. Simply explained, more of what feeds your soul and less of what doesn't. Personally and Professionally. Equally attainable. I went from a non-sleeping new mama of 2 to my definition of a self-taught Mother Badass who was not self-taught really at all. This was when my life actually changed. Self-Aware Mother Badass and everything it entailed and ever will is NOW my new calling in life.
All of this care into the thoughts of what kind of life I want to lead as my most optimal self is what I will now refer to as the SHIFT. Exponential growth and lifetime dedication to helping others in ways people have helped me. The ultimate in the pay it forward privilege in the Game of Life. Ohhhhhhh, how I can't hardly wait to share more. Now, how the hell do I edit pictures to size on this thing?